A few months ago, the Spotify algorithm gods planted a song so deep in my mind it has fucked up how I perceive myself. This is truly dramatic and unnecessary but I have been thinking a lot about this. Music, I believe, is an extension of your identity. Right? I am probably being hyperbolic here but let me entertain this while it’s ruminating.
(As the product of an 80s born, 90s raised, genres defined you.)
His name is Joshua Michael Tillman. Professionally known as Father John Misty. Let’s circle back shortly.
Generally, I find male crooners with an ounce of earnest to be very cringe. Specifically the lone singer/songwriter types. I just can’t take a straight man seriously singing about how the love and loss. (Legally, they are allowed and should express emotions. But that’s another topic.) They’re just really difficult to empathize with. Male country artists are the worst offenders. I could do bands. I could easily listen to Vampire Weekend. Death Cab. (There are some exceptions: Perfume Genius, Oliver Sim, Sufjan Stevens.)
I did my due diligence to find a reason not to like him. Some sample Google searches:
Father John Misty LGBTQ - turns out he has donated all proceeds from a concert in Charlotte, NC to an LGBTQ non profit. Supports trans people. Wonderful!
Father John Misty politics - hates Trump. Great!
This guy is a saint? (Of course not. Basic human compassion should be default.)
It all started with Nancy From Now On pushed at me a few months ago. Ok, this sounds good, I thought at the time. This sounds like very fun early 2010’s. Which, the song was released in 2012. Then I kept listening to his music and it I really enjoyed them. The country style music is easily skippable. Goodbye Mr. Blue, that song can go to hell.
I have accepted that I like FJM. He’s good. He’s fine. His music has a lot of hits as there are misses. My identity is not falling apart. I stay relatively firm that male crooners just don’t feel right. This low-stakes dichotomy keeps self-discovery interesting, I guess. Lol. (The more I say lol, the more it makes me feel like an elderly millennial. Like a middle-aged man wearing sneakers. Almost there!)
Heavily contemplating getting Kacey Musgraves tickets because FJM is the opener. But also because Musgraves is in her homesteader era.
Raw, honest, exposed. Thank you for being so brave 🫶🏽