Hello,
For a brief moment, I had an existential output crisis right here at Life of Gay. Perpetually asking myself the question: why? Does this all matter? Maybe it comes with the territory of being in your 30s. Soon to be entering late 30s. The older I get, the less I care about being online (see: deactivating IG, though it seems everyone in my cohort say they don’t post anymore), knowing what’s cool or even being perceived as such.
When I first started LoG, I followed the algorithm of having a consistent posting schedule to grow subscribers. Subscribers like consistency, they say. Consistency kind of takes the joy out of it when I created this for FUN. It started to become less fun when it felt like work.
And then I watched this video by Rachel Nguyen who I never religiously followed but serendipitously showed up on my YouTube page at the perfect moment.
To summarize, she took a step back from being online and noticed how the internet has transformed — for better or for worse. She states it’s easy to get caught up in trends and algorithms but then the content always falls short. To put out authentic content that is true to yourself, it takes time. TIME PEOPLE. Because capitalism destroys everything.
Shit, I get it.
Tavi Gevinson’s first (and only) Substack post is like I am doing this my way. Rule #4: ZERO consistency. Which makes sense considering her newsletter is in the this is not a job phase.
While cooking one night, I listened to The New Yorker’s Critics at Large podcast episode titled Can Slowness Save Us? (Also good ep recently: The Case for Criticism) Everything about slowness was really starting to hit home. I have the privilege of participating in slow culture right now thanks to the economic powers that be. It’s really nice.
I enjoy writing on Substack. Though, it does have a neo-Nazi issue (see: here also more at Read Max) it needs to address that’s forcing writers to leave en masse. It’s simplistic to state that because I don’t charge subscribers, I am not complicit. I wrestle with the issue often every time I am on Substack. I just think neo-Nazis now!!!! I am a paying subscriber to a newsletter so I am funding Substack which is technically funding neo-Nazis!!!!!!!
If you watched Rachel Nguyen’s video, she’s excited to return online with a new lens that requires time. And I believe that’s what I need too. I’ll be putting content out when it feels right, when I have something to share, when I need a creative outlet.
Perry